That Night
by LadyKatie
Summary: The night of the bombing at Babylon Brian has a lot to think about. Completely from Brian’s POV beginning with his ride to the airport. Season 5 spoilers!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, although, Brian and Justin are on my wish list! They are the property of Showtime and I only borrow them on occasion.**

**Description: The night of the bombing at Babylon Brian has a lot to think about. Completely from Brian's POV beginning with his ride to the airport. QAF Season 5 spoilers**

**A/N: This is my first ever QAF fic, although I've been a fan for ages. Just a short one shot. Pretty clean, for a QAF fic, with only some potty language. You'll have to use your imagination for anything else. :) After having a severe case of writer's block, I sat down to watch some Season Five and suddenly I just felt like I had to write about Brian. So, for better or worse, here it is...**

That Night

by LadyKatie

He'd made such a big deal about it. Acted nonchalant when he told Justin where he was going. Acted smug when he'd told Theodore. It was bullshit and Brian knew it. Somewhere inside him, he knew that it wasn't the answer. But it's all he knew. Fucking. That's what he did when he needed to feel good. But he knew, somehow, that there was something else missing. Him. Just when he was starting to feel almost like his old self, there was Justin to remind him of what he was missing. All the more reason to get out of town.

So that's how he found himself sitting alone in a car on the way to the airport. Reading the first magazine he had seen on his way home from work.

_Why the fuck do I still read this shit? As if I need to see what Brittany is wearing this week. I hope I can sleep on the flight. Those fucking uncomfortable seats. Then again, if I can't sleep there may be another alternative. I haven't fucked a flight attendant in years..._

"This just, from WDBX News, there's been an explosion at Babylon, the local gay club..."

_Shit. Fuck._

"Turn around."

_Fuck. How could there have been an explosion? Fuck. Why doesn't he drive faster? They could be dying. All of them. Everyone I love is in that building._

Brian reached for his cell phone and with just one word it dialed Justin. Nothing.

_Not him. No. Not him. What if..._

The driver got them as close to the building as he could, but there was too much chaos. Police, paramedics, so many people cold and bleeding. Faces smudged with ash. It didn't occur to Brian to be concerned about his business. All he cared about was finding him.

_There's Jennifer. No Justin. Oh god..._

When Jennifer said he was still inside Brian fought his way into the club, despite police warnings to stay out. They were too busy with the wounded and hysterical to bother with him anyway. Nothing could have prepared him for what he found inside though. Blood. Bodies. Brian wasn't generally a squeamish person, but being there, surrounded by death, his stomach churned. Every step he took was filled with terror that the next bloody body would be Justin's.

Ted was comforting some scared man Brian had never met. But there was still no Justin. Or Michael. Not even Emmet or Mel and Lindsey. Deb should be the easiest person to notice in a crowd, but she was nowhere to be seen either. Ted hadn't seen anyone except his shaking date. Brian continued his search.

And then he finally let out the breath he'd been holding since he first heard the news on the radio. There he was. Dirty and tired, but alive. That's all that mattered. He was alive. And Brian suddenly knew that he never wanted to let go of him ever again. But there were other things to worry about first.

Michael. It didn't matter that they weren't talking. Michael was still his best friend and always would be. When Emmet told him what happened Brian didn't wait around for details and ran to find Debbie and Ben.

Emmet and Justin stayed behind to give their statements to the police when Michael was taken to the hospital. The rest of it was all a blur. Brian remembered the doctor who wouldn't let him give Michael his blood. He remembered being angry and scared, although he would never have admitted it. He remembered Debbie in the chapel, asking him if he wanted to say a prayer. Of course he didn't. What he didn't say though was that he'd come close to praying that night. The closest he'd ever come. For Justin.

When he got back to Babylon, Justin was still there. Through the lights of police cars and the sounds of people still lingering around, Justin stood out. He was the most beautiful thing Brian had ever seen.

He asked about Michael, but truthfully Brian didn't want to talk about that. Or anything else. He grabbed onto the blond and didn't want to let go.

_Why did you let him leave you, you idiot? Was it so horrible to say it? You've only known it since the last time he almost died. Why did you have to wait for it to happen again? Were you too proud? Too scared? Look at him. You would have let this go, and for what? A few good fucks? He's all you wanted since the first time he wandered onto Liberty Avenue. What if you had lost him tonight? He would have been gone without ever hearing the truth from you. You justify it because he knows how you feel really, but he has always deserved to hear it from you._

At first the words came out mumbled and the sound of them scared Brian at first. He could hardly believe he was saying it. Maybe Justin didn't hear it and he could pretend like he didn't say it. But then Justin looked up at him. He had heard, although couldn't quite believe it either. But looking at him again banished all of Brian's previous fear and the next time the words came they were completely natural and honest. There was no doubt, no question. This was the only man he ever loved like this. The only one he wanted to.

"I love you."

_And always will._

**A/N: Thank you for reading and please review!**


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